So, you’ve just lost the love of your life.
Maybe you let him go, maybe he dumped you, or maybe he was a complete douche bag and you lost zero sleep over his butt because you know who you are! (If you’re the latter- I’m sorry this post is not for you)
But, if you’re one of the above, and you happen to be going through it and can't get over your break up, this post IS for you!
At some point or another, though we hate to admit it we’ve all been here. We've all waffled with reality of a breakup and stayed in a "situation" longer than we should've.
Unfortunately, it seems as though we hang around longer when we don’t know if we’ve made the right choice or when a guy doesn’t seem want us. We act like we have something to prove so we pull out all the tricks to try to “help” them see our worth.
Word to you babes. Don’t.
Don’t let your incredible self be stuck on a guy who isn't intentional, explicitly clear about you, or worthy of your love. Any guy that wants you will wait for you, inspire you, respect you, and lastly but most importantly, show up for you!
If these words still aren't resonating with you and you find yourself wiping away tears post breakup... here are 4 things you can do to get your groove back!
Spend time alone
I know, this is not what you were expecting, however, in order to fully discover who you are again and offer the best version of yourself, you must be comfortable and whole by yourself. Go out by yourself, read, pray, meditate, treat yourself to flowers, pick a hobby, INVEST IN YOU! When we are 100 % comfortable with who we are and with what we want and need, we won’t have any problems saying goodbye to a guy who doesn’t fit the bill. Most times in life we skip the development stage and we look for people to complete us or to fill a void. We either become so dependent on their love and affection that sometimes we stay in situations longer than we ought to or we ruin relationships because we're looking for the person to fill a feeling we're in search for- this can only be filled by you! Use the time alone to improve some things in your life that may need to change for the better and become less dependent. The only way you can do this is growing through this process of self love and discovery.
*P.S. Alone time also gives a clear mind to evaluate your break up decision and the past relationship without any distractions- aka the grass is greener syndrome aka adding a new person in the mix.
Spend time with friends
This may seem contradictory, but it’s so important to your healing! While you're spending time getting to know you, you also need to reacquaint yourself with the people who love you! Hang with the girls, travel together, and just have fun! Having people to talk to and people who care about you will take your mind off of the guy that broke your heart as well as off your loneliness. Yes, you'll feel lonely sometimes but having a real crew will not only prevent you from having a terrible rebound situation, but help you get over your funk and learn to love your life again!
Travel
This is possibly the best thing to do after a breakup because getting away always clears your head. You’ll not only have the space you need to really asses your situation but you can evaluate where you want to go in life and the kind of person you want to do life with all while exploring a different country! Meet new people. Immerse yourself in culture and just let yourself be! Traveling is literal therapy and if you can’t afford to take a trip, find a local hotel and give yourself a staycation because you definitely deserve it!
Limited Contact
It’s hard losing a person you spent so much time with, but try to keep conversation at a minimum. If your breakup ended on good terms, nothing clouds your judgement more than staying in immediate contact with the person you love. Of course if you have kids with the guy you’ll have to have some contact, however, if that’s not your case, keeping contact just keeps hopes alive. One person will end up getting hurt unless both of you want the relationship and each other again. If this is the case, both people need to say so explicitly and show that with actions!! Otherwise, things will again -just get messy. You may care but care from a distance. You have to get over the guy before you can just fall back into being friends and if you two are meant to be, it will just happen!
-Cheers